I really hate to have my first blog post this year (and first in a few months) be as lame as a post about popcorn, but I could not help it. The weird after taste and knowing I ingested chemicals I normally refuse to eat, has really got to me… so here it goes.
Dear Mr. Redenbacher,
Orville I know you are dead, but your family / ConAgra foods are tainting your good name and the quality company you once built. First off a few years ago they made a really creepy computer generated version of yourself which I covered here: Orville Redenbacher – Back From The Dead. Now they are using your sweet face and name on a box that is FULL OF LIES.
I was shopping at the grocery store and went down the snack soft drink isle and though I would like some sweet sweet popcorn. So I browsed the different types, and saw one that sounded good. Orville Redenbacher’s Kettle Korn – “Slightly sweet & slightly salty”. It sounded perfect. A quick glance at the box, I see your pretty face on it, along with the words “Naturally Sugar Free”. Perfect, I throw it in my cart, head home, and pop, pop, POP it up a few days down the road.
At first all is good, but then I get a sickening sweet/wrong taste in my mouth after eating this. A similar aftertaste when you eat something with SweetNLow or one of those other chemical sweeteners. So I drink a glass of water, try and shake it and check out the box. Sure enough Orville, you rascally ol’ devil, you slipped in the unnatural/disgusting/etc ARTIFICIAL sweetener Sucralose in it (street name of Splenda).
So on the front of your box it says, “Naturally Sugar Free“, and on the back of the box it shows an artificial/potentially unsafe sweetener called Sucralose.
Being both old and dead, I am guessing you do not know what Sucralose is… let me give you some quotes and some links to follow up on.
A Sugar Association complaint to the Federal Trade Commission points out that “Splenda is not a natural product. It is not cultivated or grown and it does not occur in nature.” – wikipedia
Sucralose is derived from sugar through a patented, multi-step process that selectively substitutes three chlorine atoms for three hydrogen-oxygen groups on the sugar molecule. The tightly bound chlorine atoms create a molecular structure that is exceptionally stable. – IFIC
SPLENDA® Sucralose is manufactured by a multi-step patented process which starts with cane sugar. The process selectively replaces three hydrogen-oxygen groups on the sugar molecule with three chlorine atoms. The result is a sweetener that is approximately 600 times sweeter than sugar. – Tate & Lyle (patent owners)
So last I checked, most things that are NATURAL, do not go through a multi step – patented process that replaces parts of the molecules with chlorine atoms.
Here are some pictures (click on them to see the full details) just so you do not think I am trying to pull an ‘ol fasty on big Orv:
So there you have it Orville, I hope I have showed you that there is nothing natural about sucralose, and that your are full of it when you put “Naturally Sugar Free” on your Kettle Korn popcorn box. I am truly disappointed in you Mr. Redenbacher, and hope that you do what you can to see that this little slip up gets corrected. In the future please keep Sucralose out of your products, or do not try to pass them off as “Naturally Sugar Free”.
Your long time fan,
George aka Werty aka “The Trose”
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Ah, semantics. The popcorn IS naturally sugar-free since it doesn’t naturally contain any sugar. They’ve just added un-natural sugar to naturally sugar-free product… they’re using a former state of the product to market it.. kinda like labelling your hamburger “naturally breathing” Hmmm. That doesn’t make you fell any better does it?
I feel your pain Trose. Funny how people think that marketing means saying anything they’d like and are not held to strict marketing rules. Remember when false advertising meant they would honor the price, now they stick up notes to their windows ‘protecting’ them from honoring the price even though the consumer came out for it.
wow. hatin’ on poor, old, dead orville. i’ve got some nice popping corn from farmer john that i will happily donate to your cause. pop it up, melt some butter, throw in a little salt and sugar and all will be right in the world again.
i do love a good george-style rant however…
I like the Wertrose rant-style post too.
Trose! I’ve been MICROWAVE popcorn free for over 6 years now. You should just make your own! Get a decent 3qt pot and lid, some olive oil (walnut oil is best but $) and pop your own with a bag of good white, yellow or natural(colored) corn.
I had the same feeling (got ill) from the Sucralose. Even got a migraine, and puked once. Nothing like a sweetener that is 600x profitable to the maker and 600x worse than real sugar.
I found a “low Sugar” maple Oatmeal (Wegmans). Didn’t see anything about artificially sweetened (its in the ingredient list, at bottom but no LARGE BANNER). I got a refund after hurling out half a nuked packet.
No thanks. Stick your Sucralose (I swear humans are dumb…you are what you eat) up your pie hole, sweetener manufacturers!
Yeah, sucralose most go! Seriously if you want eat less calories, then eat less food/sugar, but keep your shit real.
The thought of sucralose gets the weird feeling/flavor on my tongue. So gross.
I do not each much popcorn but next time I am at the store I will buy a bag/jug of popping corn and give it a try. What heat setting should I use?
I bet if you take sucralose (a.k.a. Splenda) and mix it with gasoline, it would make some hella good napalm, we’ll call it Splenpalm. Splenda is about as natural as Brittney Spears boobs. I feel so bad for poor ol’ Orville. It seems like everything ConAgra touches turns to shit. Banquet chicken ain’t been edible in years. I hope in his next life he takes my Splenpalm recipe and burns down some sucralose plant in South America. R.I.P. Orville, we miss your honesty.
I experienced the exact same reaction tonight. I just bought the above mentioned kettlecorn. I ate some last night and I noticed an aftertaste. I thought a little about it, but then dismissed it saying I’ve never eaten microwave kettlecorn so I’m not sure what it should taste like. Tonight I had it again. This time I could not resist the urge to get the box and read the ingredients. I’m used to seeing the words “light” on the outside of items that usually sends up a flag to me that they have the “fake” sugar in them and I stay away. I guess I’ll just have to look closer from now on. I can’t stand the aftertaste this leaves. Needless to say, I won’t be buying the kettlecorn anymore.
I ended up here because I did a search after having the same problem with store brand kettle corn. Couldn’t figure out why my mouth felt so funny after eating it until I looked at the ingredients. I didn’t realize they were doing it to things not labeled diet. I guess me and my horrible vision are going to have to start really reading labels more, even on the stuff that seems like it logically wouldn’t contain anything bad.
i called you guys over a year ago about my popcorn was not popping in the mic you guys were supposed to send me a coupon for a free box and im hear to tell you i did not get. and to tell you guys that you don’t leave up to your word.and that i will be calling you guys again to let you know. MY HUSBAND EATS A LOT OF POPCORN. and that he will not ever buy your popcorn ever again. so just to let you know im not happy.