It has come to my attention that I currently work with the smallest penis in Chicago. Through various sources at Google, as well as Ali at Blue Lithium, this story has been confirmed many times. In fact, the only positive thing said about this young gentleman came from an unknown lady at Baci Pizza.
With that said, we wish Tiny Johnston the best of luck with his new title. It is certainly much better than his previous one as having the smallest penis in Chicago.